soapbox please

ok so, i am not going to use this blog as a cathartic platform for me to complain about annoying customers. So i am just going to put out my blanket "things you should know if you are planning on eating out in a restaurant" now and get it out of my system.

1. 20% is the standard tip for good service. None of this 15% crap. I know that that was the standard but times have changed, and a 15% tip makes me ask "what did I do wrong". The reason for the increase is necessary because not only do servers make well under minimum wage, but also we have to tip out so many people, bartenders, hosts, food runners, busboys, party planners, ect.

2. Food taking a long time is usually not the servers fault, so please don't take it out on them. Same goes for drinks from the bar.

3. Trying to talk to your server while talking on your cell phone is absolutely uncalled for.

4. A note to all large parties. Patience. Seriously. You are a big group and everything is going to take a little longer. Please don't all shout at once, and please don' give attitude about your twenty specialty cocktails taking ten minutes to get to the table. There is nothing that anyone can do. Also when you see that 18% gratuity added ask yourself, is that really enough? Remember that added gratuity is taken before the tax and that usually if you are a large party two servers were taken off the floor to service your group. If you liked your servers and nothing catastrophic happened you would only be helping your karma to leave a little extra to say "thank you for dealing with us and cleaning up our mess".

5. A restaurant is not your living room. Please don't sit at a table for 6 hours on a busy Saturday night, you are literally taking money out of your servers pocket. And do not think that because you tipped 20% that it is ok. If you spend a couple of hundred dollars then sure camp out and let me bring you more wine, but it you and your friends want to sit at my table and have me refill your waters please go somewhere else. I know it is unfair, but think about it from the servers prospective, we are all just trying to get by.

6. Reservations are not a perfect system. People show up for their reservations late and then act like the people described in #5. Be patient on the weekends.

7. Restaurants being out of things is sometimes a good thing. It means that they dont over order and let food sit, they probably get fresh items in more often, or that they get more highly allocated ingredients.

8. Please stop drinking diet coke, or at least dont act like a crack fiend if your glass is empty for more than twenty seconds.

9. Free bread is not a guarantee, please dont demand it.

10. When the host brings you to a table, please dont ask to move, there are reasons they brought you there, server rotations, reservation spread ect...

11. Most servers aren't uneducated morons, so please dont speak down to them or assume that you are better in anyway.

A good server will never let you know if you are breaking the unknown rules, or being an asshole, so please try to keep yourself in check.